Shock therapy treats IT consultant's blue feeling
A UK IT consultant who travelled to the US state of Denver found himself on the wrong side of a Taser gun after an incident involving a laptop and a nervous disposition.
The still-wet-behind-the-ears fellow, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was on his first assignment abroad and did not anticipate that officers would want to check his laptop prior to boarding.
Officers noticed the man acting strangely with the laptop while queuing to be X-rayed, and approached the man for questioning. Spotting the officers, the young consultant made the mistake of backing away, while continuing to push buttons on the machine. One thing led to another, and before you could say "Kentucky fried", the young fellow lay twitching on the floor.
An inspection of the laptop, which had not powered down in time, revealed the source of the commotion: a veritable banquet of pornography.
Reports that the laptop was subjected to an usually thorough inspection have yet to be verified.
IT professional survives BCS' soothsaying service
The British Computer Society ordinarily strives to bring the IT industry good news, but if this letter from Dorothy Graham is true, it takes a rather different tack in its dealing with its members.
"I received a letter from the BCS telling me that my membership is about to expire. Nothing unusual in that, you might think. However, several years ago, I took out a life membership.
"Does the BCS know something about my life expectancy that I should be aware of? Is this one of their new initiatives? This is the second time this has happened, and I did not die last time, so I am hopeful"
MP3 bra takes a firm hold on reader's imagination
Our story on MP3 fashionware seems to have captured the imagination of IT professionals everyone, or more specifically - and honestly - just one.
Reader Stephen Hide from Oracle writes, "With regards to the report of MP3 fashionware and the question about where the batteries might go, well, the answer is really quite simple. There would not be any because the material would made out of "solar panel" cloth. The product for the ladies might be be called the iPad, whilst for the gents it might called the iPouch.
"However, one might need to reconsider the definitions of woofers and tweeters. Also, the expression 'pressing all the right buttons' now takes on a completely new dimension!"
Hide points out that tickets for his end-of-pier show are now available and that he is in talks to script the next "Carry On". Allegedly.
Computer Weekly staff push the boundaries
It takes a big man to admit when he is wrong. But Downtime is not a big man, so we let others do it for us.
Stuart Lines of Fairleas Business Services writes, "When my Computer Weekly arrives, I generally turn first to the pages which amuse me most. Sadly, it is not Downtime but the pages just before, otherwise known as the Regional Job Browser.
"Clearly someone involved in Computer Weekly has a rather poor grasp of UK geography. In the 28 August edition, Central London now includes Reading, Warwick and Lancaster. East Anglia has extended its boundaries to Redcar, Central London is now in Europe (true I suppose), Heathrow has relocated to Scotland and Chesterfield is in the West Midlands."