Downtime: One-note lovesong

The wacky world of IT

This one-note love song is enough to make you cry

Even unworldly Downtime is familiar with the concept of stealth marketing. But we cannot help wondering whether a love song that eulogises at length about the benefits of Microsoft’s Onenote application – and encourages listeners to download a 60-day trial – could possibly be for real.

But whatever the true story behind “My one and only Onenote”, it certainly appears heartfelt – and is not quite the worst song we have heard, either.

“Let me tell you ‘bout my favourite application/A software notebook for the modern age/
One place for all of your notes/
Put any type of content on the digital page,” it begins and carries on from there, with singer-songwriter Mike Tholfson getting alarmingly specific about the software’s benefits.

Here’s some more to enjoy:

“Use a shared notebook for group collaboration

Or start a live sharing session with your friends

Like a rich wiki with merge and replication

Everyone’s in sync when the meeting ends

Tables, tags, clippings, instant search and Lasso

Drawing tools, embedded files and hyperlinks.”

Whatever the musical merits of Mike’s brand of jangly IT-folk-rock, no one could argue you are not left with a fuller understanding of Onenote’s capabilities.

Which is what got Downtime suspicious in the first place, but maybe that is just too cynical.

Mike’s ode to Onenote is available to listen to online. Go on. You know you want to.

Don’t become a slave to your inbox – watch TV

As Downtime struggled with its overflowing inbox, it could not help but find it poignant stumbling upon a piece of research noting that we Brits spend 59 working days a year tackling our inboxes.

According to Yahoo! Mail, we are these days so glued to our inboxes that we are three times more likely to be trying and failing to clear them out than watching telly.

Downtime has already made a mental note to right that particular wrong by having the TV on constantly in the background all day every day. That way no one will be able to accuse us of being slaves to our Outlook. Neat, huh?

Let’s hope sky-high costs stop the in-flight chatter

These are dark days. As if sitting on trains listening to your neighbour announcing to the world via his mobile that he has “just left Elephant and Castle” was not bad enough, that particular peril of modern life now looks like it will soon be visited on us on planes.

Emirates said last week it is planning to allow its passengers to ring their mates and tell them they are “flying over the south of France just now.”

Or words to that effect, anyway. The bottom line is that from January passengers will be able to use their mobile while they are in the air on Emirates flights.

Given that aircraft are noisy at the best of times, Downtime is already dreading the cacophony of shouted half-conversations that will ensue. (“No, I said Fin-land!”)

The only saving grace is that it will cost a packet, so you probably won’t have to listen to your next-door neighbour chatting all the way from Manchester to Marrakech.

Downtime has given the matter some thought and has a better suggestion. If someone could invent technology that stops people talking on their mobile phones
but still lets them text, then maybe the rest of us could reclaim a little bit of our lives as we try to get from A to B.

Just a thought.


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