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What have you got in your pockets?
Some loose change and a lighter - evidence once again of my failed efforts to give up smoking. I think I'm on my 43rd attempt.
Who would you most like to have a date with?
Kylie. I can dream (about being at the head of the queue) can't I?
What did you want to be when you grew up?
A WWF wrestler. All that money just for acting!
How did you get into the IT industry?
I just happened to be in the right place at the right time and haven't looked back.
What do you do to relax?
Play with my daughter - it's the best way to take away the stresses of the day and focus on what's really important.
What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you?
Getting caught in the shower by my mother-in-law. Mind you, I don't know who was the more embarrassed
What's your favourite place and why?
Home, as my wife and daughter are there. So is my Playstation, which is best at around 3am.
If you had a dinner party and could invite anyone, dead or alive, who would you invite and why?
The cast of Men Behaving Badly - what a night that would be. I'm obviously a home bird in reality, but a lad at heart!
If you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?
Invest some, spend the rest. My dream is to find a really run-down old house and start again from scratch and put a TVR in the garage.
If you could make a voodoo doll of someone, who would it be?
Tony Blair. No explanation needed, I think.
MicroScope is celebrating its 20th anniversary this year, what were you doing 20 years ago?
I was 15 and just about to leave Hong Kong to join the Army - following in my father's bootsteps.
What's the most daring thing you've ever done?
I streaked at Upton Park in 1986. We beat Arsenal 2-1.
What's your most annoying habit?
I pick my nose on doctor's orders! I've broken my nose 18 times - the first four times at school playing rugby and the rest boxing in the Army. I've been told to constantly keep it clear of loose bone and gristle. Well, you did ask!
What's your best quality?
I'm easy to get on with.
What's your favourite song and why?
Baggy Trousers by Madness. They are my earliest musical memory and still my favourite band. I was the first skinhead in my school and did my GCSE English oral on the band and their music. I've seen them in concert more than 30 times and still go to see them whenever I can. Madness mad!
Who is your biggest hero or heroine?
Mohammed Ali. For me, he really is The Greatest.
What's your favourite chat-up line?
"I've had a vasectomy."
How would you like to die and what would you choose as your epitaph?
Old age. My epitaph would read: "Ouch! You know you're standing on my head, don't you?"