DPM's diary: 13 March 2007

DPM's Diary by CP Bound

DPM's Diary by CP Bound


In town for a meeting of Asslic Fuchsia, the new name for the Association's crystal ball gazing group.

There weren't many gazed balls on this occasion, just a series of public relations pitches from various branches of the public sector modernising business.

The representative of the Department of Communists and Loco Governesses told us about plans for more business improvement in local government. These consist of selling plantains at service points to improve our diversity rating and getting everyone to read the Daily Telegraph.

This way New Labour will get re-elected again and again and everyone in the modernising diaspora will have socially useless but well-paid employment for ever.

Talking of which, Government Contricks, wheeled out its two new big hitters: Simon Cremation and Rick Rogerard.

Looks like Government Contricks is the new retirement home for yesterday's IT managers. Good to see our taxes so well spent. Who needs young people with their fancy ideas and actual understanding of the technologies anyway?


Dave reports we have just finished printing the council tax bills. We now know that our attempts to persuade people to go to paperless billing have not been an unqualified success. True, we have had some take-up - 17 respondents to be precise. But 16 work either in the IT or council tax departments.


We discussed the poor e-billing take-up this morning at our regular

management team meeting. Charlie came up with the idea of promotional publicity. Why not, he suggested, do a promotional piece on the one resident that has taken it up. Seemed a good idea so I asked Mavis to call him and get some background.


Mavis reports that Mr Adolph Molehouse is a retired teacher living in a suburban semi. He is an enthusiast for e-services and does all his personal administration online. Sounds ideal.

We passed the details to PR to write up the case study and issue a press release. As a thank you I sent him a new A3 colour printer, as he told Mavis his old one had just broken down.


Oops. Story in the Bogcaster Gazette is not quite what I had hoped for.

It seems that Molehouse is the leader of the Bogcaster Hitler Appreciation Society and has been producing posters advocating racial purity and invading Russia - using the printer I gave him.


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