DPM's diary: 12 June 2007

Weekly round up of events at Bogcaster Council

Monday

It is easy to do virtuelibation under Linsux we have been doing it for years. However, I do not go around telling people I am saving the planet and how good I feel about myself.

Of course, I am not selling a shed load of proprietary server management software. I am still having to contend with the noxious trails of slug-like salespersons slithering tenaciously to get to my presence to sell me this or that virtuelibation solution.

Those that have avoided being squashed under foot by Mavis en route and get to me do not seem to grasp that we use open sauce and don't need to buy their solutions. We are already greener than thou, thank you, please take your guilt-trip sales pitches elsewhere!

Tuesday

Matrimonial rumours are circulating about the still-sober Dave and the ward sister he met in rehab. This morning I noticed Mavis was wearing a large badge bearing the legend "Ideal Bridesmaid".

The fact that the surface area of the badge was only slightly less than that of her dress left the impression, however, that the necessary decorum for such a position may be absent.

Wednesday

In a desperate attempt to shake Dave out of it, his team have kidnapped him and bundled him off to a Lan party somewhere in Lincolnshire.

Murphy's Refined Law1 immediately cut in and the master server, home to 1,400-odd virtual components, went ex-network.

Our remaining on-site techie, Archie, is a 17-year-old trainee not yet considered proficient enough to attend a Lan party. His fix attempt involved firstly powering down and restarting, and when that failed, logging in as root and trying to delete some temporary files. Unfortunately, what he actually did was delete the contents of the root directory.

Thursday

The techies are not answering their mobiles - presumably because the background heavy metal is so loud they can't hear them ringing. Archie has lost the scrap of paper they gave him telling him where they went. He thinks he may have accidentally eaten it when it stuck to his burger.

Friday

Called in a favour and got a man in Cheltenham to get a location on the mobiles. Charlie went up there this morning and Dave logged in and fixed the problem in two minutes. Archie has been redeployed to the post room.

1. The Refined version of Murphy's Law states: If a thing can go wrong it will go wrong, as soon as all the people capable of fixing it are absent.

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