The end of November and the Christmas season is in full swing. If you plan carefully it is possible to be at a Christmas lunch on every day between now and 24 December.
To help party planners we have launched a new feature on the Bogcaster intranet called Turkey-Trail.com. It gives star ratings to the different departmental dos and provides helpful tips on how to get invited and how to politely refuse unwanted invitations.
Top star rating this year is the nursing school dinner disco, although to be fair this has little to do with the expected quality of their catering.
A detective sergeant Dickson arrived this morning from the Tyne and Wear police to see if we had the missing benefits discs. It seems the courier van called here on its way down south. I explained that we never accepted this kind of media from untrusted sources in case of virus infection.
"Are you saying that major government agencies are regarded by you as a data security risk?" he queried. "You may well think that, I couldn't possibly comment" I responded.
It seems that the prime minister's okay for the information commissionaire to spot check public sector organisations applies to local authorities as well. I know this because a team of "data security experts" descended on us this morning.
Newcastle is very cold this time of year, and anyway Bogcaster is much nearer to Wilmslow, so they decided to target us first. Dave reports that none of them know anything about IT and all they are interested in is how we fill in their forms and where we file our master copy of the security policy.
We did suggest that they might like to try and break into some of our servers, but they looked a bit sheepish. It was explained they do have a contract with Elastic Dosh Systems to provide technical services, but no budget to call off work from it.
Dave has hacked into the commissionaire's finance systems and raised an order to Elastic for an access test.
He then hacked into Northern Rack and arranged the payment - it's all taxpayer's money, we are just keeping it moving around the system.
Anyway, the ICO chaps are very grateful. Mind you, Elastic have said they can't do the test until January. Too many Christmas parties to buy the drinks at I suspect.
The ICO guys are enjoying a day off. Dave hacked into their time recording system for them and set today up as a bank holiday.