DPM's Diary: Resolution for 2007

Weekly round up of events at Bodcaster City Council

Monday

New Year's Day where am I? Who are these women? Where are our clothes? Who is that sadist who has managed to smuggle a pneumatic drill inside my head? You know, this firstfooting business can get a little out of hand.

Tuesday

Ignoring my Scots tradition I came into work today only to find that most of the English have decided to stay away. You would have thought that the challenge of keeping IT services working in a cash-strapped public sector organisation would be enough to have them queuing at the door waiting for us to reopen after the Christmas break. Instead of which they ring in sick and spend the day browsing through the IT jobs websites.

Wednesday

My resolution for 2007 is to be kind to all God's creatures, take more exercise, cut my carbon footprint by 80%, avoid alcohol and loose women and ensure that I devote all my spare time to charitable and community activities. Only kidding! What a boring diary it would be.

However, I have to give up something as we have a tradition in the department that all members of staff publish their resolution and each one must be unique and accepted as valid by the majority of members of the department. Most are quite sensible for example, Charlie has publicly resolved to stop banging the keyboard with his fists when he gets e-mails from our customers demanding projects be completed next week after they have spent six months inexplicably delaying authorisation to start them.

Thursday

My preferred resolution - that I stop being too lenient with all those lazy goodfornothings within the department - did not achieve majority staff support. So I have reluctantly decided to go with Mavis' suggestion that I refrain from stopping people I meet casually, asking them how their project is going and then appear to be completely disinterested in their reply. Easy - as if I or any IT director would ever do such a thing. Anyway, this resolution has received peer approval.

Friday

Walking down the corridor I see Gill from projects coming the other way. Conversation went as follows:

Me: "How is it g... err... I mean how is the weather shaping up for the weekend, do you think?"

Gill: "My project is fine. We start acceptance testing next week. I have had to lean on the users to get their sample data together but it looks like excuse me, but was that a yawn Mr Bound?"

Missed an instalment of the DPM's adventures? Catch up online

www.computerweekly.com/dpmdiary




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