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Appocalypse how?

Apple opened this year’s Worldwide Developers Conference with a video speculating what the world might look like if all the apps used on their devices suddenly disappeared.

As all the big guns, including Maps, Instagram and Tinder, vanish from iPhones across the globe, we’re provided with a tongue-in-cheek insight into a world of cars swerving off-road and mass outbreaks of three-dimensional narcissism.

Oh, we get it! It’s a light-hearted joke at everyone’s expense! It’s reminding us how caught up we are in our apps and how integral they are to our everyday lives! Without them we’re pathetic! Very clever.

We watched it back a few times and something about these scenes felt strangely familiar. The air of panic. The clueless sense of fear. The absence of self-awareness. This kind of thing goes on in Genius Bars across the globe on a daily basis.

It’s good of Apple to remind us how entrenched apps are in everything we do, encouraging developers to carry on making them for all us airheads dependant on them to share our every move with anyone who’ll watch.

Hopefully this arrogant persona doesn’t catch on with all tech companies. This we can just about stomach, but if Microsoft starts trying to lord it over us just for giving us a few video games, we’re going feral.

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