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Downtime

Taking a look at the lighter side of IT - technology may be a serious business but it rarely fails to raise a smile too.

Recent Posts

  • Black holes and ejaculations

    Ryan Priest 11 Apr 2019
  • There’s a bookshop located in Old Street Station near our office where we can sometimes be found nonchalantly perusing the blurbs of various works of literature during our lunch break. The other ...

  • Remembering Google+

    Ryan Priest 04 Apr 2019
  • We remember Google not letting us comment on a YouTube video until we signed up to its barren and now extinct social media platform like it was yesterday, if only in the sense that it’s one of the ...

  • Leave memes leave

    Ryan Priest 28 Mar 2019
  • Everyone knows about the European Union’s famous Article 50 by now, but what do all the other ones do? It’s like being invited into the cockpit of a Boeing 747 and only pressing one random button. ...

  • Vote Leave’s early bath

    Ryan Priest 20 Mar 2019
  • Vote Leave’s band of zip-wiring cowboy builders has been handed another fine: this time for sending out nearly 200,000 unsolicited texts to the poor sods who entered their contest to win £50m if ...

  • Predicting Senturion’s magnificent seven

    Ryan Priest 14 Mar 2019
  • Luxury wrist-worn supercar key manufacturer Senturion has revealed it will release seven limited edition £211,550 pieces, fashioned from some asteroid, later this year. But who’ll get them? They ...

  • Never mind the bullocks, here’s the 5G cows

    Ryan Priest 06 Mar 2019
  • Government-funded agricultural project 5G RuralFirst has made an app that allows you to track the daily activities of a cow of your choice, live from its home on a connected farm. Opportunities to ...

  • HyperTikTokisation

    Ryan Priest 27 Feb 2019
  • Try as we might to steer clear of the nutty content made on short-form video app TikTok, it seems to be seeping further into public consciousness by the day, and it’s now becoming a valuable ...

  • Richard Madeley vs the internet

    Ryan Priest 21 Feb 2019
  • Nothing even vaguely amusing has happened in the world of technology this week, cutting off the lifeblood of this blog at its source. We watched on as MPs announced their newfound independence and ...

  • The package no one ordered

    Ryan Priest 13 Feb 2019
  • Tech gossip doesn’t get steamier than the richest person in the world, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, being blackmailed with his own dick pics by The National Enquirer. But why would he mind who has to ...

  • Baddiel and Jones unedited

    Ryan Priest 07 Feb 2019
  • For years now, Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey has been hounded to add a feature that allows users to amend their typo-laden tweets, but do we really need more ways to take the platform so seriously? Take ...

  • Top banter for top bottoms

    Ryan Priest 31 Jan 2019
  • Gay dating app Scruff has had to ban pictures of users in their underwear because Google Play kept suspending it. This is welcome news for those of us who eat pizza every single day and can’t be ...

  • Of Dyson men

    Ryan Priest 23 Jan 2019
  • There’s no getting around the fact James Dyson has revolutionised pub bogs up and down the country with his hand dryers. Rumours they store up and shoot out poo particles everywhere aside, the ...

  • Let’s take back control, unless we have to get up

    Ryan Priest 16 Jan 2019
  • Mobile phone recycling comparison site Recyclezone has put together the findings of a survey that asked which household tasks Brits were most keen to palm off on smart technology, and you don’t ...

  • New CISO is dead serious about security

    Cliff Saran - Managing Editor 15 Jan 2019
  • Our new CISO has just issued a warning across the company. He's going to blame staff for any blunders. And he's going to make sure they NEVER do it again...

  • No way, Osé

    Ryan Priest 09 Jan 2019
  • This year’s CES organisers have succeeded in preserving every male tech nerd stereotype by crumbling over a small reminder that real vaginas exist. The Osé personal massager’s upcoming innovation ...

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