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Downtime

Taking a look at the lighter side of IT - technology may be a serious business but it rarely fails to raise a smile too.

Recent Posts

  • Doubting Thomas

    Ryan Priest 13 Jan 2021
  • As a rule of thumb, we wish only misery and ruin on Bitcoin investors for daring to make the phenomenon sound any more sophisticated than a Bet365 advert. But our maniacal propensity for ...

  • Talk that talk

    Ryan Priest 06 Jan 2021
  • Brian Clough once said that if he was given a magic wand and wanted to improve the standard of UK life overnight, he would have Rupert Murdoch removed from this planet. For 12 hours on Tuesday 5 ...

  • A Christmas Kard

    Ryan Priest 11 Dec 2020
  • For Christmas, we got you the most thoughtful gift of a lifetime. A special surprise from October 2020. A hologram of Robert Kardashian. Here is the transcript in full: “Happy Christmas, reader. ...

  • Data day job

    Ryan Priest 02 Dec 2020
  • A senior lecturer in management at the University of Exeter has suggested a number of wise-cracking robots have the emotional intelligence required to make them suitable for leadership roles. ...

  • Humerus for a moment

    Ryan Priest 25 Nov 2020
  • This dystopian shambles of a year has reached a new, personal low, after a PR email revealed that a robotics company based in Reading has completed its first successful trial of a VR-controlled ...

  • Vax doesn’t have to be vexing

    Ryan Priest 18 Nov 2020
  • The Labour Party has called for emergency laws to prevent social media companies from playing host to anti-vaccine content. You’d’ve thought the ruling elite would have already got the memo to ...

  • A dopey Photoshop

    Ryan Priest 11 Nov 2020
  • We’re not ashamed to admit we don’t understand how the graphic tweeted by Boris Johnson to congratulate president-elect Joe Biden came to faintly display “Trump” in the background. Downing Street’s ...

  • Welcome to the A. List

    Ryan Priest 29 Oct 2020
  • We recently noticed a feature on the BBC’s website titled The man who taught Uber how to say sorry. After a frantic scan of the article, we learned the name of this man, and can therefore sadly ...

  • Chatting Schmidt

    Ryan Priest 22 Oct 2020
  • Former Google CEO Eric Schmidt spends his webcam chat for the Wall Street Journal Tech Live event insisting we should all be grateful to the tech giants, despite the fact they’ve become, by his own ...

  • The codecracker suite

    Ryan Priest 14 Oct 2020
  • It was the summer of 2017, and a stock photo taken in Girona two years earlier was about to go global. That same summer, an Atlanta photographer walked through the doors of a dance studio to help ...

  • QiuiAnon

    Ryan Priest 07 Oct 2020
  • A smart chastity cage that can only be controlled via its app was vulnerable to hackers putting almost 40,000 penises on lockdown, research has revealed. Sex toy manufacturer Qiui muses on its ...

  • Bald misrepresentations

    Ryan Priest 01 Oct 2020
  • A report has exposed Amazon’s robotic workforce for increasing the warehouse injury rate of its human peers. The Center for Investigative Reporting says the data it obtained lays bare “a mounting ...

  • Bush chucker challenge

    Ryan Priest 23 Sep 2020
  • A crack squad of Openreach engineers dispatched to investigate a Welsh village’s long-running broadband mystery has managed to pinpoint the unwitting culprits. “One morning during lockdown, we ...

  • You flotsam, you jetsam

    Ryan Priest 16 Sep 2020
  • The UK Space Agency has chosen seven firms to award with funding in the interest of tracking all the crap we’ve left in the sky. You might be reading this on the back of watching Climate Change – ...

  • Amstrop

    Ryan Priest 11 Sep 2020
  • The reality of our planet living through a pandemic has seen office culture successfully adapt to home working, but as businesses start building towards their employees’ safe return, one impatient ...

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