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Downtime

Taking a look at the lighter side of IT - technology may be a serious business but it rarely fails to raise a smile too.

Recent Posts

  • Bush chucker challenge

    Ryan Priest 23 Sep 2020
  • A crack squad of Openreach engineers dispatched to investigate a Welsh village’s long-running broadband mystery has managed to pinpoint the unwitting culprits. “One morning during lockdown, we ...

  • You flotsam, you jetsam

    Ryan Priest 16 Sep 2020
  • The UK Space Agency has chosen seven firms to award with funding in the interest of tracking all the crap we’ve left in the sky. You might be reading this on the back of watching Climate Change – ...

  • Amstrop

    Ryan Priest 11 Sep 2020
  • The reality of our planet living through a pandemic has seen office culture successfully adapt to home working, but as businesses start building towards their employees’ safe return, one impatient ...

  • Project Gertrude

    Ryan Priest 02 Sep 2020
  • As a pig called Gertrude demonstrated Neuralink’s brain implant technology – spiking in mental activity whenever she thought about food before toiling on a treadmill for an inconsequential period ...

  • For your iPod only

    Ryan Priest 20 Aug 2020
  • Former iPod engineer David Shayer has revealed Apple worked on a “top secret” project to create a “special” version of the device for the US government in 2005. Shayer claimed only he and three ...

  • Niall Ferguson is inane

    Ryan Priest 13 Aug 2020
  • Historian Niall Ferguson’s article about TikTok claims the app plays a pivotal role in China’s imperial ambitions, an argument rendered instantly moot by his declaration that he, like us, doesn’t ...

  • Like a chief in broad daylight

    Ryan Priest 05 Aug 2020
  • The CEOs of Amazon, Apple, Facebook and Google have all spoken to US Congress in a joint video call to face some stern questions, one of which being: “Do you believe that the Chinese government ...

  • Goats on Zoom

    Ryan Priest 29 Jul 2020
  • Lancashire’s Cronkshaw Fold Farm is pimping out its portfolio of goats for video-conference appearances to fund its investment in renewable technology. That’s right, at just a fiver a pop, remote ...

  • The secret managing director

    Ryan Priest 23 Jul 2020
  • The managing director of a Premier League side almost cost their club £1m when their email address was hacked during a transfer negotiation – but who could it be? Our first guess was Richard Arnold ...

  • Live from the Lord Moon of the Mall (Pt. II)

    Ryan Priest 16 Jul 2020
  • “You’ve got to wear a face nappy if you want to come in here,” chunters a half-cut Tim Martin as Matt Hancock enters the Lord Moon of the Mall. “Only joking,” he slurs. “Who am I to tell the health ...

  • Live from the Lord Moon of the Mall

    Ryan Priest 10 Jul 2020
  • Matt Hancock’s latest app assignment has proven more of a head-scratcher than that one he released about himself, and as he dithers and delays at his desk over the release of anything serviceable ...

  • Doubling down with Nick Clegg

    Ryan Priest 01 Jul 2020
  • As the Stop Hate for Profit campaign inspires over 150 major companies and counting to pull their advertising from Facebook, its appeaser-in-chief has slid open his webcam cover and got back to ...

  • Eau de you think you are?

    Ryan Priest 24 Jun 2020
  • A bunch of olfactory obsessives have blasted through their Kickstarter campaign target to start making bottles of fragrance purported to smell like space. Just as Robin Williams once lorded it over ...

  • Artificial ignorance

    Ryan Priest 11 Jun 2020
  • Microsoft’s move to replace MSN.com’s human editors with artificial intelligence has resulted in the software misidentifying one woman of colour for another – before regurgitating other outlets’ ...

  • The robot league

    Ryan Priest 03 Jun 2020
  • Restaurants in the Netherlands have been easing themselves back into business with the help of robotic waiting staff, going some way to repair the profession’s reputation after China’s automated ...

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