Memory card arouses suspicion, contains al Qaeda documents encoded in porn

 

Around one year ago, police interviewed Maqsood Lodin as he travelled to Pakistan, during ‘questioning’ also known as ‘interrogation’ aka ‘torture’ the police found a memory card next to his privates in his Y fronts.

The police initally only found two pornographic films called ‘Kick Ass’ (one can only imagine it to be a bondage style video where women beat the behinds of elderly men in a gruelling yet provocative encounter) and ‘Sexy Tanja’ (I imagine it to be a video of a young nubile girl called Tanja who is exploring her sexuality on video).

After several weeks of supposed analysis, German investigators discovered more than 100 al Qaeda documents encoded inside the porn video. This included information on some of the terror group’s future operations and PDF terrorist training manuals in German, English and Arabic.

Future attacks detailed in the documents included the plan to seize cruise ships and carrying out attacks in Europe similar to the gun attacks in Mumbai in November 2008. Lodin is now on trial in Berlin, where he’s pleading not guilty to terrorism charges.

Keep this in mind for when authorities ask if anyone’s tampered with your luggage.

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