In the Computer Weekly office, we get a lot of credit crunch jokes sent to us so we decided to put them up on the website as a way of lifting the gloom of the 'recession depression'.
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Below are the best jokes we have recieved so far, but if you know of any others please send them to: firstname.lastname@example.org.
- I went to the ATM this morning and it said "insufficient funds".
I'm wondering is it them or me?
- With the current market turmoil, what's the easiest way to make a small fortune?
Start off with a large one.
- How do you define optimism?
A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday
- What's the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
A large pizza can still feed a family of four.
- George Bush was asked today "what did he think of the Credit Crunch?"
He replied: "I love that cereal!"
- Why have estate agents stopped looking out the window in the morning?
Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon
- Record unemployment levels have been announced today as the Credit Crunch tightens it’s grip.
Worst hit sectors are the construction trade and Icelandic bank robbers.
- The credit crunch is getting bad isn’t it? I mean, I let my brother borrow $10 a couple of weeks back.
It turns out I’m now America’s third biggest lender.
- Talked to my bank manager the other day and he said he was going to concentrate on the big issues from now on.
He sold me one outside KFC yesterday.
- What’s the difference between Investment Bankers and London Pigeons?
The Pigeons are still capable of making deposits on new BMW’s.
- What have Icelandic banks and an Icelandic streaker got in common?
They both have frozen assets.
- Quote of the day (from a trader): “This is worse than a divorce. I’ve lost half my net worth and I still have a wife.”
- How do you successfully freeze your financial assets?
Invest in an Icelandic bank
- What’s the capital of Iceland?
- I hear that the credit crunch is even affecting fairgrounds. My friend's a dodgems operator and he lost his job this morning.
He's suing for funfair dismissal.