Credit Crunch jokes


Credit Crunch jokes

In the Computer Weekly office, we get a lot of credit crunch jokes sent to us so we decided to put them up on the website as a way of lifting the gloom of the 'recession depression'.

Below are the best jokes we have recieved so far, but if you know of any others please send them to:

  1. I went to the ATM this morning and it said "insufficient funds".
    I'm wondering is it them or me?
  2. With the current market turmoil, what's the easiest way to make a small fortune?
    Start off with a large one.
  3. How do you define optimism?
    A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday
  4. What's the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
    A large pizza can still feed a family of four.
  5. George Bush was asked today "what did he think of the Credit Crunch?"
    He replied: "I love that cereal!"
  6. Why have estate agents stopped looking out the window in the morning?
    Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon
  7. Record unemployment levels have been announced today as the Credit Crunch tightens it’s grip.
    Worst hit sectors are the construction trade and Icelandic bank robbers.
  8. The credit crunch is getting bad isn’t it? I mean, I let my brother borrow $10 a couple of weeks back.
    It turns out I’m now America’s third biggest lender.
  9. Talked to my bank manager the other day and he said he was going to concentrate on the big issues from now on.
    He sold me one outside KFC yesterday.
  10. What’s the difference between Investment Bankers and London Pigeons?
    The Pigeons are still capable of making deposits on new BMW’s.
  11. What have Icelandic banks and an Icelandic streaker got in common?
    They both have frozen assets.
  12. Quote of the day (from a trader): “This is worse than a divorce. I’ve lost half my net worth and I still have a wife.”
  13. How do you successfully freeze your financial assets?
    Invest in an Icelandic bank
  14. What’s the capital of Iceland?
    About $3.50.
  15. I hear that the credit crunch is even affecting fairgrounds. My friend's a dodgems operator and he lost his job this morning.
    He's suing for funfair dismissal.

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