With less than two weeks to go until the start of the London 2012 Olympic Games, PRs everywhere are trying to find a desperate Olympics angle to shoehorn a story into publication by a Games-obsessed media.
There will be highs and lows, but they will have to go some way to beat what is perhaps already the benchmark nadir for Olympics-related tech PR puffery.
Captive Media, a company that specialises in – wait for it – “interactive washroom media”, has launched the 100ml Dash, described as a “a sprint race like no other”.
Downtime cannot hope to improve on the wording of the press release announcing this earth-shattering (or should that be “ceramic-shattering”) development, so will leave it to the firm’s own description:
“The 100ml Dash is a unique game that male ‘evening athletes’ at participating bars will be able to play while answering the call of nature – with the digital action displayed before them on a mounted video screen.
“Set to be rolled out in selected bars in the UK and Europe in the run up to London 2012, the 100ml Dash is a sprint race like no other. Participants control the game by directing their pee stream at targets in the urinal. The truer their aim, the faster their character sprints.”
Other products from the same company include “washroom diversions” such as a downhill skiing simulator and a trivia quiz game called Clever Dick.
And you thought your job was demeaning.
“The game makes every man a competitor – not merely a spectator – in the true Olympic spirit.” said Captive Media co-founder Mark Melford. Clearly Olympics organisers have missed a trick.
Stick a portaloo at the end of the 100m track, deprive sprinters of the opportunity to relieve themselves for 24 hours prior to the race, and watch them break the world record as they race to be the first to empty their bladders, and presumably to beat the top score in the latest in “interactive washroom games”.