That's torn it. Where are Man U supporters meant to code now?

A kick in the face for Wi-Fi suppliers who talk of little else but their latest stadium installation?

That’s how Downtime first reacted to the news that Manchester United was banning people from taking tablets and laptops into Old Trafford.

But then we received an email from a fine practitioner of the arcane and mystifying art of public relations, who shall remain blessedly nameless to spare him the indignity.

With Manchester United announcing that football fans can no longer bring laptops and tablets into their ground many techy football fans have been left wondering how they can write code whilst at Old Trafford,” said the plucky PR, whose only crime was to be asked to email a load of daft nonsense to every technology journalist in the country.

Well where indeed? It’s becoming a real problem for a lot of us.

Indeed, just a couple of weeks ago your intrepid reporter was at London’s O2, watching the shameless old farts known as Monty Python try to wring a few more pounds out of their 40-year old material, when suddenly I was seized with the urge to bash out a bit of Python myself.

I reached for my trusty desktop and then remembered I was sitting in a 20,000 capacity arena paying over a hundred pounds to watch two elderly men falling about over a dead parrot. And worst of all, my computer was several miles away in the office! Foiled again!

“Curses! Damn and blast it all!” I cried.

“Now nobody will ever know of my programming genius. My app, which would have brought water to the deserts, reversed global warming, solved hunger, ended war in the Middle East, cured Ebola, and won me hearts around the world, shall remain forever uncoded!” I lamented, to the puzzlement of my fellow comedy enthusiasts.

“Shut up, you silly prat,” one of them (my Dad) was heard to remark. “He’s going to do the line about pining for the fjords.”

Well it turns out I should have known better, for as my newfound friend went onto explain, what I should have done was download his client’s smartphone app, which would have allowed me to control my computer remotely from my smartphone, and tinker away to my heart’s content whilst missing all the fun and simultaneously irritating the pants off of everyone around me.

I suppose what we have learned from this is, in a very real and meaningful sense, nothing.