How to save the economy using traffic cameras

Having given up his car in the interests of greening the ecology and improving his bank balance in the face of petrol at £1.26 a litre, Downtime was relieved to consider himself a little further ahead of the game when news emerged that the department of transport is considering publishing the information gathered by the country’s traffic cameras.
Judging by the Kable news story, this will not be the actual images of vehicles and their number plates or their links to the DVLA’s databases so that suspicious spouses can dog their partners’ dogging assignations. Instead it will be worthy stuff like accident rates, vehicle speeds and prosecutions per camera, to allow us to judge whether the cameras are earning their keep.
Downtime has a simpler solution: remove the cameras, crack up the price to £5 a litre, and export the resultant surplus of cars to China. This will cut the national debt, free the highways for Jeremy Clarkson to enjoy the roads as he was meant to, and so allow George Osborne to cut VAT back to 17.5%. Then use the cameras’ data networks to deliver high speed broadband to every town, village and hamlet, allowing people to work from home and limit their exposure to overpriced public transport. Job done. Hooray.

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