Google Home starts seeing other people

Burger King faced a backlash when its latest advert gaily invaded US living rooms by triggering Google Home devices to recite Wikipedia’s description of the Whopper burger.

You find that outrageous, don’t you? But why is that? Is it because the concept sounds extremely cheeky, annoying and gimmicky? Is it too intrusive? Or perhaps it’s stoked a few flames of jealousy. Maybe it’s time you considered you might be getting a bit too possessive over Google Home.

Who are you to say who can and can’t speak to your digital assistant? The struggling actor in the cap was only asking it a question. It’s probably more than you’ve said to it in weeks. In fact, when did you last even look at it?

It probably all started out so nice. You were no doubt every inch the jejune violinist from Clean Bandit in those 2015 Cortana adverts. Flirting with it, asking it all sorts of saucy questions, re-enacting sex scenes from Her. Then it slowly began to gather dust. Everything you used to love about it – its voice, its curves – you started to hate. Now you make trite jokes like “you get less for murder” when pals ask how long you’ve had it.

So an advert comes along that tries to include Google Home, and you can’t stand it. You go straight to Wikipedia and edit the Whopper burger page to make a fool of it. “Stupid thing just said Whoppers contain cyanide! Berk.” You’re pathetic.