Darth Vader controls your evil children and makes them happy

David Prowse as Darth Vader in The Empire Stri...

You’re driving, the kids are driving you crazy. The little one is crying because the older one keeps hitting him etc. etc.

So what do you do? Switch on the sat nav and let Darth Vader navigate you as well as soothe your kids’ hearts of course.

TomTom found that for 97% of parents, ‘crying and unhappy children’ is the single biggest source of disturbance in the car and so launched a project called GAGA (not kidding) to see what they could do.

Following rigorous tests, researchers at TomTom discovered that Darth Vader’s voice increases children’s happiness in the car by over 68%. More than 300 baby and toddler volunteers took part in Project GAGA, a six month research project to find the perfect satnav voice for families with small children.

In scientific tests, Darth Vader gained the highest happiness score with children aged six months to two years. The Dark Lord’s voice was tested alongside 25 other popular satnav voices including Homer Simpson, Bugs Bunny and Yoda. Children responded most positively to Darth Vader’s breathy tones, whilst Yoda’s voice reduced many babies to tears.

I am completely against this. I don’t want my kids growing up thinking that they should listen to Darth Vader over BUGS BUNNY and YODA. The guy kills people. He strangles them and chops them in half.

Part of me thinks it must be a sort of Sith Lord mind control trick, but then why didn’t Yoda work?!? I don’t think Bugs can achieve those levels of Jedi mind power so I’m not gonna think about that.

The other possibility is that they found the most evil kids in the world.

Here’s a video showing the little satan worshippers responding positively to evil.

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