The analogue minister
When Theresa May’s unstoppable reshuffle tour eventually reached as far as grinning app namesake Matt Hancock, he found himself thrust from his role as secretary of state for digital, culture, media and sport and into the crosshairs of Antony from The Royle Family. But there was scant time to cry over our old milquetoast friend, as attentions turned directly to who would plug the next hole.
With Downing Street’s Twitter account firing out the same template to announce each new appointment and the prime minister being a dab hand at Ip dip doo by now, we didn’t have long to wait.
Someone called Jeremy Wright was duly pasted into the following tweet five minutes later, but it didn’t include a Twitter handle like all the other announcements about his promoted peers. That must be a mistake, we thought. A digital minister who doesn’t use Twitter is a bit on-the-nose even for banter queen Theresa.
Before you start asking if he even knows what the internet is, he actually had a crack at tweeting back in 2015, but simply lost interest after his first two goes and has left the account dormant ever since. Still, a Conservative Party politician frivolously abandoning something they started is violently on-brand, and before you even try it, do not @ him, because you can’t.