Matt Hancock: The app

News of new culture secretary Matt Hancock launching his own app sent Downtime direct to the App Store.

After a tantalising few seconds waiting for Matt Hancock to download, we open it up and join the party. Without warning or regard for your phone being on silent, the man himself fills the screen with a welcome message, and you’d be forgiven for forgetting he’s not there in the room addressing you personally: your very own living, breathing, straight-talking Polly Pocket.

We’re in. What to see first? We head over to the live stream, and encounter some initial disappointment to find it’s not a 24-hour, Big Brother-style arrangement. The Matt Hancock community bombards the comments section, begging him to go live, and we can’t help but feel jealous at the thought of having to share him.

We exit live stream to check out the library, where you can find a curation of his classic speeches and a gallery of all your favourite Matt Hancock moments, including Matt Hancock having his picture taken with a fibre broadband cabinet, Matt Hancock kneeling among pumpkins, and, of course, a horse eating out of the palm of his hand – and we know the feeling.

Productivity is at an all-time low as we continue to check our Matt Hancock app. Too much Matt Hancock? No. Never enough.

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