L is for the way you look at renewable heating technology

A civil servant has swapped her job at the Department for Education for a stint on ITV’s hit reality show Love Island.

Zara McDermott, who had previously been developing government policy on renewable heating technology, told her employer she would be taking a break to focus on TV work – albeit stopping short of letting them know she was heading for the show where renewable heat is primarily sourced through soulless stolen hand shandies.

Surrounded by simpering, unscrupulous chancers in a lush new environment, McDermott took a cheeky selfie at Downing Street back in 2016. At the time, she wrote in the caption: “My job is better than yours,” showing her up to some extent as having never written for Downtime in her life.

We would nevertheless be mortified to think it went without saying we hope she finds her true love on the island. Whitehall should drop everything to follow Danny Dyer’s example and give her its blessing to fornicate at will throughout the experience, before allowing her to swan back into government should no Good Morning Britain competition presenting work come out of it.

Downtime is unfortunately unable to see how she gets on due to the show provoking violent illness on sight, but wishes her the best of luck.

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