Even if the Phantom Squad does not repeat the Lizard Squad’s exploits last year, taking down games networks to ruin Christmas for children (and nerds) there are warnings that anyone without super-duper fast broadband is likely to face problems as millions go on-line to install and download operating system and app updates for their new “toys”. Then there are the 144 (12 by 12) Scams of Christmas (take your pick from the lists).
Hence my greeting. wishing you a merry off-line Saturnalia: food, drink (not forgetting the first drink of Christmas day) and family rituals. Your New Year resolutions should include checking your ad blockers and anti-spyware filters, not just your “security” software, if you really do want a Happy and Prosperous New Year.
Innkeeper: Sorry our broadband has been so slow recently and we are in a mobile notspot so we haven’t been able to get on-line to check the bookings.
Joseph: But on-linebookings.com assured us our guest room was confirmed.
Innkeeper: Is it OK if I clean out the manger in the stable?.
[For those who think the reality was different, I recommend the explanation on the website of the United Church of God . I too have learned not to assume that on-line confirmations from village pubs mean anything – always ring and check. Hence also the strength of feeling from those afflicted with that peculiarly British mix of rural crapband and digital by default services].