Robocop splashed across Downtime

An office building in Washington DC has lost its Knightscope K5 security robot after it obliviously face planted into the premises’ water fountain centrepiece.

It’s the most ambitious television soap storyline the K5 has recreated yet, following previous efforts such as accidentally running down a child and falling victim to a drunken assault.

At this point, the beleaguered surveillance machine’s brushes with adversity have given it a certain bumbling, relatable persona. Almost trustworthy. Maybe it’s even been programmed for a few pratfalls for this reason. Come to think of it, it does seem a bit suspicious that its sensors, with their ability to process 300 licence plates a minute, can suddenly come over all muddled in front of some steps.

Images from the incident are about as embarrassing as it gets. It’s easy to forget it doesn’t have the faculties to feel this emotion for itself when, in actual fact, it couldn’t care less.

Nonetheless, dear ol’ K5 has started to seem as human as the rest of us. It’s somehow managed to evoke the same gleeful generosity that compels us to cheer a plate being dropped in a restaurant. In that spirit, we’d be spoilsports not to happily pass on our own personal information post-haste. Maybe we’d give it all up for Amber Rudd too if only she started discussing the Snoopers’ Charter next to a big puddle on the M4.