Of Dyson men

There’s no getting around the fact James Dyson has revolutionised pub bogs up and down the country with his hand dryers. Rumours they store up and shoot out poo particles everywhere aside, the Airblade is a modern signifier of an establishment that looks after those of its belching, farting, urinating and sometimes even defecating patrons who might wish to dry their hands fast.

And who can forget his vacuum cleaner? A noughties icon that once doubled as a broomstick on which you could transcend class barriers; its creator vouchsafing us incrementally improved versions over the years while the famously stoic Henry ate its dust.

But what will billionaire Brexiter Dyson be known for by the next generation? Could he, perhaps, engineer some new kind of amphibious craft, capable of safely transporting rats from sinking ships; complete with tiny, automatic, retracting ladders? No, that’s unfair.

His company is actually off to Singapore to make cars, but chief executive Jim Rowan worries some cynics are bound take that the wrong way: “Because [Dyson’s] roots are in Britain and its founder has been a vocal supporter of Brexit, the decision to move its headquarters to Singapore is likely to make political waves.”

Don’t be paranoid, Jim! All the best for Singapore, which – did you know – recently signed a free trade agreement with the EU?!

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