Kuri curries favour but Bosch favours Currys

Bosch has forced startup firm Mayfield Robotics to cancel the release of Kuri, a home robot that was all set to patrol your house and rob your dog of its last shreds of dignity.

Could it be that Bosch took its cue from this apocalyptic heatwave and opted to focus on providing the UK’s electrical retailers with more fridge freezers than our Brexit blood rations can fill? According to the statement, it simply realised Kuri wasn’t “a business fit”.

As with all these home robots, it looks like it was designed by someone from the 1950s, while also boasting the key selling point of filming what your dog gets up to while you’re out and about.

Do you want to know what your dog gets up to while you’re out and about? It pines for your return.

We’re glad man’s best friend has been spared – for now, at least – the sharp rebukes it would’ve got through the speaker of this creeping machine as its owner checked in from some garden centre to stop it licking its nuts on the settee.

Kuri’s raison d’être was to lodge itself between you and your loyal, sentient pooch in the household hierarchy by dobbing it in for daring to indulge in its very finite list of pleasures. What a shame it’s now being shipped back to a dark warehouse with all the other narks to be melted into a dishwasher door.

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