It's official: holidays in Britain are dangerous

According to Directgov, the government’s public information service (aka BigBruvGov), four in 10 Brits on holiday at home are likely to suffer “personal and health mishaps” worth bothering a GP or pharmacy.

Helpfully, BigBruvGov and NHS Choices are piloting a new mobile service in England to help in the crisis. You can now send a text to 64746 plus the code for the service you need, and directory services will send back the address of the nearest aid service.

Don’t bother to watch the video BigBruvGov produced to help people use the service. The link it gives shows how to pay your road tax online.

Now that Downtime has exposed BigBruvGov’s true motives, print this out and glue it to the back of your mobile phone.

 Text the following code to 64746:

* A&E – text “a&e”

* Dentist – text “dentist”

* GP – text “gp”

* Optician – text “optician”

* Pharmacy – text “pharmacy”

* Sexual health – text “sexual health”

* Alcohol support services – text “alcohol”

* Stop smoking – text “quit”

* Walk-in-centre – text “walk in”