Try just using your card

The festive season is behind us for another year, even for those giddy traditionalists who keep their trees up well into January instead of just getting over it. But maybe we can cling onto the cosy Nat King Cole vibes slightly longer by thinking about how we might be siphoning our wages come December 2017.

Stand up, contactless clothing, a new concept that was trialled (no, me neither) last month, in an attempt to revolutionise how we carry out in-store transactions.

The prototype, a tartan scarf, boasts a contactless chip, and replaces the enormous, heavy credit or debit card you used to have to push around everywhere like some stupid, precinct-dwelling, modern-day Sisyphus. The scarf comes complete with its company logo, which at first glance appears to be for either Card Factory or Costcutter. High fashion indeed.

The idea of being able to pay for items with your outfit was developed for anyone who hates waiting in long queues to buy gifts during the busy Christmas period yet presumably hasn’t quite cracked online shopping either. This overcrowding, Card Cutters muses, is caused in no small part by the consumer fiddling around to get their card out. In some tragic, archaic cases, it’s believed many of the great unwashed are still required to enter a PIN (over three digits long).

However, providing contactless clothing takes off, Christmas 2017 will see slightly reduced queues, albeit with a backdrop of occasional heat stroke emergencies (no, you can’t take your scarf off, remember) and an inevitable garment-pinching festival for small-time fraudsters.