Amazon vs Amazon

What happens when the Amazon rainforest, globally cherished as the lungs of the planet, asks a company that named itself after it not to enjoy exclusive use of the .amazon domain extension?

Where do we turn for arbitrary rulings like this? Where can we find a fair and moral guide in this conceptual quandary born of a pretend digital world we’ve built around the physical one that gives us things like oxygen? Los Angeles, baby!

And thus, as the one remaining undecided board member drove to their job at the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) – cruising down the vast, dusty roads past WeWorks and converted aeroplane hangars while their organisation’s anthem, Shalamar’s I can make you feel good, blasted from their Tesla’s stereo system – they had a decision to make.

Pulling into their parking space, the board member considered how Amazon.com had actually been quite unreasonable throughout this dispute, refusing to even share the domain extension and arrogantly offering to pay countries off with Kindles.

“How can it be right that something so sacred, so essential to our existence, is overridden by an e-commerce firm that stole its name?” the board member thought, before cramming shut their car full of boxed Kindles and voting in favour of Amazon.com.

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