In the bleak mid winter

Each year at this time, former JP Morgan security veteran Alan Stockey crafts an irreverent festive poem with a contemporary theme. This year he’s elected to Green.

In the bleak mid winter
Climate’s changed, no snow!
Copenhagen discord
And all their hot air blows
Glaciers melting lower and lower
Lower and lower and lower
No more frosty snowmen, without

Oceans levels rising
Icebergs up the Thames
Wettest month on record
Floods and feet of rain
In the bleak mid winter
Reindeer pulled his sleigh
Thanks to carbon offset
Now he’s got a plane

Data centre’s roasting
From weight of all those Blades
recycling discs and records
T’is the season we get Slade (again)
In the bleak mid winter
Three wise men tracked a star
Good job it wasn’t Eco
It wouldn’t have shone far!

Ozone layer thinning
Methane takes its place
McDonalds off the menu
Could be our saving grace
In the bleak mid winter
Light bulbs all gone green
Christmas trees synthetic,
And house displays obscene

Yet what can I give up?
Lazy as I am
If I were a banker
I could give a damn!
Appliances on standby
Might turn off quick start
But after eating curry
I think I’ll hold the fart   :~(