Nothing compares 2U89X

The government announced this month a brand new method for submitting divorce applications: it can now all be done online!

The digital route is intended as a less stressful option than the fusty old paper-based system, which apparently saw many applications deemed unsuccessful because of mistakes on the form.

No chance of that on those online forms, is there. Autofill was born for moments like these. It’s already removed all the pain from solemn life events such as ordering a pizza, and now it can lubricate the termination of a marriage without you having to so much as remember how to write your name.

Maybe this could even become a fun experience. The forms might include one of those Captcha stages. Confirming you’re not a robot would have come in handy before you sapped all the joie de vivre out of your once adoring spouse, but now’s your chance to tell the internet.

Once you’re done and that’s all sent off, there’s so much more on the website to get your teeth into. This is the start of a new chapter for you. Look at all those links! You could change your name right now to anything you want. You can volunteer as a coastguard if you like, or report a dog fouling problem or become a qualified lorry driver. So chin up. The world is yours. This is some website.

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