Every year Alan Stockey, a well known London banking security professional, sends me a Christmas poem with a security theme. It's a little late for Christmas Day, but then so is the snow.
Day Zero, Day Zero, Day Zero!
Network traffic outside is frightful
But the firewall's so insightful
Check the patches are all just so
Call CISO, Call CISO, Call CISO!
DDOS doesn't show signs of stoppin'
Hope the firewall keeps on blockin'
Websites have all gone slow
Day Zero, Day Zero, Day Zero!
When we finally see daylight
They've hit so many ports in the storm
Saving others from similar plight
There'll be others that you can now warn
But if the firewall's slowly dying
Not sure what you'll next be buying?
Just as long as you keep the code
Buy Escrow, Buy Escrow, Buy Escrow!
From a performance perspective I'd suggest a concert pitch of F for ease of singing. Try to get a bit of a swing feel to avoid annoying the neighbours.

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