You won't hear this from any other agency, but we've decided that we're going to be different and, where possible, we'll try to be honest.
The results of our study into the effects of online video were the first big challenge to our strategy.
The research, into the potency of online video as a marketing tool, would make the contestants on The Apprentice look professional. The main problem was that, like many surveys, the study method was unscientific and the results statistically insignificant. We stared and stared at the results, like they were a Japanese business card, desperate for something impressive to leap out.
But no real pattern emerged.
Still, have a look at these results and see if you can spot a meaningful trend.
When asked about 'online video 63 per cent of those quizzed said they strongly agree that video can change the way they think about a brand.
When the same question was asked about TV saw 38 per cent of people saying they strongly disagree that TV can affect the way they think about a brand.
[It was at this point that we spotted our fundamental mistake. What does 'the way we think about a brand' mean? It's such a vague concept as to be meaningless. Needless to say, we won't be asking The Hambleton Group to do another study]
Ploughing on, we noted that 25 per cent agreed that radio could affect the way they look at a brand and 27 per cent strongly agreed that magazines could affect the way they look at a brand.
We also looked at how advertising can affect purchase decision. (Another expensive mistake. We should really have done a survey into what people think about useless market research companies]
In answer to the question "Online videos influence my purchase decisions" 67 per cent said they strongly agree. [That could have been influenced by the fact that this was the last question before the tea break, and the interviewees had worked out what answers the researchers were looking for]
When the same question was asked of TV ads - the highest response was in "neither agree nor disagree" with 47 per cent. Only 19 per cent agreed and.... get this, only 14 per cent strongly agreed!
Oddly, banner ads seem to be persuasive with 39 per cent of people agreeing that they 'change the way I think about a brand'.
That last statistic was the straw that broke the camel's back. That was when we realised how utterly futile this whole exercise.
Sadly, buried in the terms and conditions small print, there were enough clauses to protect the research company from having to give a refund.
So that's it. a complete disaster.
Online video is the most influential tool for changing the way people think about brands. No, hang on, its the other way around. No, no, right first time, online video is the most powerful force in mobile marketing.
There, that's your news angle.