Recently in Online Category

Hamlet too violent - maybe try the Lion King next time?

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The British Library's wifi network was found to have denied access to an online copy of Shakespeare's Hamlet because the text contained "violent content".

A user wanted to check a line of the play and the wifi blocked the Shakespearean classic. The library said that it was still tweaking the system which was installed recently by a third-party provider.

Perhaps Disney's take on the play would be a better option? But there may be quite a few users blubbing amongst the stacks at the death of Mufasa... come on - admit it! We all did!

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The 31 Worst Face-Palm Moments in IT

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GFI Software has published the worst "face-palm" moments in IT.

Here are Downtime's top three from the list:

"The project lead on another client engagement read an article about Java saying it was the next big thing. He declared that the project should switch to Java. What he didn't understand was that Java was being shown as the next big thing...for security exploits!"

*Uh-oh*

"Here's one for the Netware folks. I once was called in to a client to figure out why their server crashed and no one could access any data. It turns out that a junior admin saw that Z:, Y:, and X: all had exactly the same content. EXACTLY. THE. SAME. To save space on the file server, he went into X: and deleted everything there. He then switched to Y: only to see that it was now empty too. He probably would have then looked in Z: except that suddenly everyone starting complaining that their systems crashed."

*Doh*

"I understand why end users want to turn off antivirus software when their machines seem slow, but why oh why would an admin do that? The worst virus outbreak I ever saw came about at a customer I regularly worked with, because the SQL team had disabled a/v on all their servers because it "slowed them down." Then SQL Slammer hit. Slow got redefined that day."

*Face-palm*
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Lonely this Valentine's Day? Buy a Facebook girlfriend

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Move over Romeo and Juliet, there is a new love story in town.

Forget wasting £5, or even £15, on an oversized novelty stuffed teddy this Valentine's Day, even if it sings Unchained Melody when you push its paw. Dave Lee, of the BBC, found that for only $5 you can buy make-believe online love.

teddy-bears-11285_640.jpgWhile conducting research, Lee came across a number of sites offering varying degrees of fake girlfriend services. After discovering Namoro Fake and Cloud Girlfriend couldn't offer him the fabricated social media solicitude he was seeking, he turned to Google and happened upon Fiverr.

Fiverr is a US-based site-come-forum where people list things they are willing to do for $5 and after a quick search for "fake girlfriend", Lee laid eyes on Sophia and the rest is history. Well, a whole week's worth of history because that's all the $5 gets you.

After their whirlwind romance was made official on Facebook, Sophia posted a few strategic comments to try and convince people of the relationship and it didn't take long for Lee's friends to start sending him messages in a bid to get him to spill the beans.   

After struggling to maintain the charade and appease his friend's suspicions, Lee conceded defeat and went back to Fiverr to see what else he could get for his hard-earned money.

He found Suzi Linder, a singer from New York, who sings jingles for $5. You can watch her performance below:

The lesson that Downtime is taking from this story is that if you're going to pay a woman for anything, it should be to sing. What a wholesome Valentine's message. 
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Ladies, have a floral kiss from Fujitsu

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Fujitsu have launched a personal laptop specifically designed for womankind.

Because of course every woman NEEDS a laptop sporting soft pastel colours, a pearl for an on/off button, diamantés as well as horoscope applications.

Well, the ladies in the Computer Weekly office don't actually know how they've lived and worked until now. Not to mention that the name "Floral Kiss" makes our low-calorie lunch of salad and water come back to say hello.

Available in feminine pink, elegant white and luxury brown.

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3G coverage in Olympic Park a hit for sharing inappropriate photos

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In the true spirit of in-depth, hard-hitting IT reporting, the ladies of Computer Weekly (and one male who will remain anonymous) headed down to the Olympic Park last night to test out what the mobile coverage for spectators is really like.

We were there as part of on-going research into the Olympic Park's 3G and Wi-Fi coverage and we can tell you that we experienced some very *interesting* results.

We found, surprisingly, that we were able to send a lot of photos via email, message and social networking sites to our jealous friends who were not so lucky to attend Team GB v Team USA Men's Water Polo.

Interestingly, 3G coverage was much better than Wi-Fi, but deep down, we were more interested in the back-end solutions...

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The abbreviation NSFW was created for a reason

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Three Indian BJP ministers, who were caught watching, ahem, adult material on a mobile phone during an assembly in Karnataka, have resigned today. 

Krishna Palemar, minister for ports, science and technology, is the cheeky chappy who allegedly supplied the blue movie, while minister for cooperation Laxman Savadi and minister for women and child development C C Patil are the despicable devils that are alleged to have filled their eyeballs with the racy footage. 

CCTV footage which reportedly captured the incident prompted calls from within the party for their resignations and these calls have now been met. 

Downtime thinks it's one thing to sneakily play Angry Birds under the table during a meeting but fiddling around with other things never really tends to end well. 

Cisco lags behind in Olympics Wi-Fi training

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With Cisco due to be providing Wi-Fi access for the Olympic and Paralympics Games this summer, it's slightly concerning that the vendor struggled to provide Wi-Fi for the attendees of its very own Cisco Live Europe event this week.

During the games the supplier is contracted to provide Wi-Fi, along with several other services, to 6,000 staff and 70,000 volunteers at 100 venues around the country. There were 5,000 people at Cisco Live, taking place at the Excel Centre only a stone's throw from the Olympic Park - and itself an Olympic venue - yet there were plenty of angry attendees unable to Tweet or access their e-mails.

Recently Stuart Hill, BT's vice president and director of the Olympic Games 2012, revealed that he was in "sensitive discussions" with Cisco to provide Wi-Fi within the Olympic Park for the use of the general public too - Downtime isn't holding its breath just yet.

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The missing piece in your wardrobe?

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Believe it or not, for the measly sum of £160 you could become a walking Wi-Fi hotspot. And, as if that wasn't already enough of a killer opening line to use at the bar, you could also have 2GB of USB storage at your fingertips. 

Well, wrist-tips if were being specific. Hang on, is there such a thing as the tip of the wrist? Shhhh, the point is that ladies will have to form an orderly queue as Brookstone is now selling polished silver Oval Wi-Fi 2GB USB cufflinks.

It describes them as 'perfect for business meetings, travel and techies everywhere.' Downtime thinks they have conveniently forgotten to preface the word 'techie' with chauvinistic and minted.
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BT survey reveals 20% of UK adults have never sent an email

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A BT survey of 2103 people has shown that 20% of adults are yet to send an email. Unfortunately the survey doesn't continue on to reveal how many of the electronic mail virgins actually knew how to or what an email was. 

The survey was carried out over the phone, because if it was an email survey then apparently the pool would have only been 1682.4 people. That's my mandatory annual maths based statement right there.

Anyway, the whole point of this survey is to help promote the Telecom giant's new campaign, wittingly entitled 'Get IT Out'.' 

Basically BT, and the delightful Gabby Logan, want us, the public, to spend more time helping the less computer-savvy in their daily struggle against simple tasks such as printing, setting up Wi-Fi access and checking email. 

If, 18 years ago, I'd have known that in exchange for teaching me how to ride a bike, I'd have to spend hour upon frustrating hour sat trying to teach my Dad how to use Gmail properly, I'd just have stuck with the stabilisers. 

The value of pure cheek? Priceless. (Well, $192,500, to be precise)

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There are not many proper URLs left to buy these days - hence the number of start-up firms with obscure-sounding names including lots of "Z" and "X". But one enterprising domain name owner has taken cheek - and his sales technique - to a new level.

Having registered www.ebay.net.in, someone in Trinidad and Tobago who goes by the name of "greatpackage23" is offering the eBay URL for sale... on eBay.

According to the eBay sales page, you can buy the URL outright for a bargain $192,500 if you don't want to risk losing out in the auction. The seller claims that price is a steal because, "You can use this domain to create a Million Dollar Business for yourself", pointing out that as an added bonus for prospective owners, "Ebay is also extermely easy to remember. Who could possibly misspell or forget this word as opposed to say...yxkt  or qlwz."

Downtime expects a rush to buy www.yxkt.com and www.qlwz.co.uk any day now.

 

 

 

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