Symantec pioneers the pantomime pitch
To say that a company "eats its own dog food" is to say that it
uses the products that it makes. For many prospective customers it
is the first and last endorsement an IT supplier should make.
However, some companies, such as Symantec, appear to have
forgotten this mantra, creating in the process what Downtime has
dubbed the pantomime pitch.
During a presentation to announce Symantec's latest product, a
spokesman for the company delivered an enthusiastic pitch to a
roomful of big name clients. Indeed, such was the emphasis on the
"uniqueness" of his company's offering that attendees could have
been forgiven for thinking that no one else made anti-virus
software.
Thankfully, visual aids were on hand to gently remind all
present that "unique" in the marketing world should generally be
accompanied by a "quite", or more accurately a "not".
During the wrap-up to his presentation, the spokesman was forced
to query collective laughs, and quite possibly shouts of "it's
behind you", by turning to face his presentation screen.
He found the source of their amusement in the form of a
prominent pop-up box, obscuring his Powerpoint presentation,
stating that the rival Kaspersky anti-virus software loaded on the
machine he was using to present had updated its definitions.
Oops.
Scientists point to better times for rat
community
There is something furry lurking in the datacentre and it is not
the network manager's sandwich that got lost behind the server rack
five years ago.
US scientists, presumably the scientists with very little else
to do, have discovered that the collective use of rodents running
in wheels can be used to generate enough electricity to power the
average desktop for at least 30 minutes.
Although not cause enough to throw away that "legacy" power cord
just yet, it might have implications for IT in the future.
While not a practical option for your average multi-national,
Downtime confidently predicts that rat-powered PCs will be the
future for the home.
It would certainly make visiting your local PC World a more
interesting experience. Downtime imagines a whole range of cute rat
accessories. Rat running shoes anybody?
With a quick call to green activists Sheryl Crow, or possibly Al
Gore, we could solve two major world problems.
First, cut energy consumption, second, raise the profile of the
common rat, for too long unfairly stigmatised for its role in that
rather regrettable business, the Black Death.
Surely it is time to forgive and forget.
Mars trip proves a tricky sell for travel
agents
Given that last week's column highlighted the inherent dangers
of space travel - namely, having your oxygen and water levels
determined by the IT department safely on the ground - Downtime
fears we may have put off any would-be astronauts at just the wrong
time.
The European Space Agency is seeking volunteers for a simulated
trip to Mars, where a crew of six will spend 17 months of
unrelenting boredom in an isolation tank.
The tank will be manufactured to simulate the environment of
Mars with its barren landscape, average temperature of -50C° and an
atmosphere of 95% carbon dioxide. Travel agents have described it
as fresh and unspoilt.
Reports that network administrators have been bombarding the
space agency with pleas to get on board are, as yet,
unconfirmed.
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