C P Bound
Monday
There are no programmers any more; only a dwindling band of
ageing men and women slyly slipping a few bits of C++ here and
there into the cracks in the great parameterised global information
framework.
I interviewed some joker this morning who said he programmed in
Oracle. That is like saying opening a tin of beans is cooking. I
asked him if he knew who Von Neumann was. After a pause, he said
that he wasn't sure, but thought it might be a 1970s heavy metal
band.
Of course there is Dave, the only person I know outside of
academia who still writes his own drivers. But Dave represents a
dying breed. When he is gone, I am not sure how we will maintain
our coffee machine network.
Tuesday
Strangely, we are back to more or less full complement in the
office. I think this might have something to do with… well, as a
good Scot maybe I shouldn't mention it. After all, we did not even
qualify.
Mind you, I do wonder what has happened to all those silly white
hand towels with red crosses on them. Occasionally a car still goes
past with a few tattered remnants flapping from a white plastic
stick secured to the window. Presumably the owner is too stupid to
work out how to remove the thing.
Wednesday
Talking about gratuitous and offensive chauvinism, what is
happening to the British computer industry? Or indeed, is there
still a British computer industry?
These days our system boxes are assembled in Ireland from Far
Eastern and US components; our screens are made in Malaysia;
printers come from Taiwan; comms kit from Denmark and Germany. I
will get Mavis to see if we actually source anything from the UK.
After all, it is UK taxpayers who are paying for our stuff.
Thursday
Mavis reports that only one of our regularly procured items is
manufactured in the UK. Our "Bogcaster City IT Service - here to
help!" embossed mouse mats are made in Barnsley. The company is a
world leader, apparently.
Friday
Had a meeting with the head of economic development to talk over
the prospects for Bogcaster City Council setting up its own PC
manufacturing plant. He did not think much of our chances of
competing successfully against brands such as Dull and Poshiba.
"Suppose we put a Cross of St George on each one and called
them, say, Britannia?"
"Hmm, might be worth a shot," he agreed. "Provided you launch in
42 months' time and throw in a high-definition TV tuner."